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lessons learnt of loyalty and of faith. 

to love wholeheartedly without the fear of being hurt

to have faith and know that one day, things will be ok

all the emotions flowing back

times like these, i feel real again. 

thats why i like to get lost in movies. 

because for awhile, i remember the genuine feelings

and forget how i cover them all up layer by layer. 

there's a reason why i don't talk about some stuff

some topics which i strictly stay away from

because venturing there is like opening a pandora box. 

because some covers, once you peel them apart, it's going to take a long time to pile them back on after.

and i can't afford to go through that long and tedious process of packing it all up again.

once was enough. 

moreover, 

you either understand but can't do anything about it

or you can do something but totally don't understand.

i can't wait for the day

which i'll dare to jump off the cliff without a parachute or life jacket.

but until then, it can only be my imagination. 

maybe its simply denial of reality.