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Sunday, December 04, 2011, 6:15 PM
5 days just flew by like that. another 5+ months of waiting. but it was a good break despite having to be a super good girl and be super patient and courteous at my grandma's place : / 此終嘟係覺得家是在香港。Roots still lie there in the end. Its hard to comprehend. and many don’t understand why it even matters at all. Why leave such stable and promising grounds I’m on now and risk going into something so uncertain? I try to be objective when I think about this. Prevent myself from allowing my emotions overcrowd my rationality.
Growing up, many people have asked me this same question - where is home and what are your plans? From young, my answer has always been the same. It’s pretty obvious that I’ve made my decision about this a long long time ago. I know what I want subconsciously and it has always been about whether I have the courage to carry it out. I’ve tried to talk myself out of this idea many times but it has never worked. Shouldn’t let the bugging insecurities stop me. I guess being out of Singapore has let me seen the things we lack here. And these issues have disturbed me. Even if its not HK, its definitely somewhere else other than here. Maybe this is too early to think about this, but I’m sure if one day if I ever have kids, I won’t ever want them to grow up in this environment I’ve been put though. No offense meant. Although I always complain about having to put up with my relatives’ unreasonable requests, demands and naggings, family still means the world to me. Its these against my own personal space and freedom which are just as important. But we can never get the best of both worlds. Whatever it is, I still have to finish up these last 1 to 1.5 years of school. And right now, i start work in 12 hours. Nervous, but excited. but super exhausted. i'm going to collapse from exhaustion soon. play too hard lu. |