it's 5 minutes past 12. Merry Christmas to everyone. except me. it's totally not merry at all. it's a really lonely and horrible christmas this year. because of everything put together. i can't imagine life getting any worse.
somebody tell me why. why do i have to screw up so bad. why did i do so so badly. why can't i get over you. why must things turn out like that. why did i choose to be thrown into foreign land in 10 days. why do i have to be here.
i still miss you. so so much. and i've never hurt this bad. its haunting me like a big bad wolf til even my fingertips are hurting. i've never cried so hard. never been this low.
somebody. somebody please tell me what to do.
christmas can't get any worse. and i can't get any more screwed up.