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Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 7:57 PM
study study study. omg, CTs are jsut 3 weeks away.i'm still rather amused by what i was thinkin about the other day during training while a soccer match was going on beside us. what if someone kicked a high ball which hit some random bird that was flying pass and the bird drops down? and what if the blur person receiving treats the bird as the soccer ball and kick the poor dead bird around as the ball? omg, it's so gross. its hard to be not paranoid that it would be our last time together. look at our busy schedules- school, trainings, tuition, church blah blah blah.. you tell me that everyone is replacable other than my parents. i know its reality, but its so harsh. i don't want to be replaced. its been a long jouney these 2 years to have come so far with you. i don't want to give up just like that, but i would accept it if need be. i'm scared to think what may happen next year. so its just going to vanish and end just like that? i'm so scared recently, that the end is near. having to maintain my distance caz i'm worried that i would hamper you from taking off for the better. and yet still having to be there, its tough you know. having to last thru so many tearful and sleepless nights alone caz i'm paranoid and stressed about everything around. so many a times i feel like giving everything up but you're one reason that keeps me going. i don't want to think what would happen if you go just like that.. love can't be given up that easily. yeah, i do realise that i was the silly and immature one to love with all my heart. i'm aware that i would get hurt so very easily, and i'm rly rly sorry from the bottom of my heart for treating you like that last year. and most importantly, i don't want to be replaced in your heart.. |