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Thursday, February 21, 2008, 8:27 PM
trust needs to be gained. this i understand. and i totally accept that. what i don't get is why you always doubt me and think i'm doing all sorts of bad things behind your back and neglecting my studies. taking drugs, slimming pills, drinking, hooking up with random guys, going out to play.. so many a times i just feel like shouting and screaming back at you. i am NOT that type of person, doing these type things is so LOW and DEGRADING to me.neither am i one who would live to watch my studies fall, especially this year. yeah, my studies mean alot to me but they don't mean everything to me. there are so many thousand million things which i treasure too. i believe in time management, in doing all these other things yet still doing fine in my work. trainings, cips, having fun, him and going out with my friends. these mean something to me. i just want to play for my team one last time before i graduate. and have fun and destress and to challenge myself at things i've never done before at cips. these mean a lot to me too. since i've proven myself time after time, i don't see why you still don't trust me to manage my time. i don't need someone screaming and nagging at me day in and out to stop my activites and study. i've been too good a gal from young, as compared to my brother. i grew up fearing you, learning not to talk back and accept all your decisions. and because of this, i always keep quiet when you scold me or say no. but that doesn't mean that i don't have an opinion, it does not mean that i can be pushed around and always be that good girl i've been. this does not mean that you can live my life for me. whatever. maybe its jsut me losing my temper. i still love you guys for everything you've sacrificed and done for me. |