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Friday, July 20, 2007, 11:55 PM
it's been a super hectic and tiring week. reaching home like after 9pm everyday. and all the naggings and scoldings. yfc. nationals. sch work. ohman. these 3 are enough to drive me mad. yfc is a big big headache. things cropping up and datelines to meet. ticket sales and programs to plan. yada yada yada..nationals. lack of luck bar. esp with refs. we played hard. fought hard. but i guess it just wasn't our time. but just am so glad that we played with no regrets and neever gave up even til the end. one more match to go. i'm sure we can make it til the end together, as a team. haven't been sleeping much recently. can't sleep well, caz there's too much on my mind. haii. hours spent thinking and amount of tears shed. and that's the reason why i'm not in contacts. sometimes i wonder, is it my life or is it yours? controlling me like that and not even trustin me to make a decision for myself. i'm not the p6 kid i used to be. stop telling me how good i was in p6. i pulled through olvls, and am going as strong as ever. but why cant you just trust me?? to manage my time and do well. do you have to judge me with just one CT? BCCE and a 47 for gp. lousy results. haii. the pressure is just unbearable. with every step i take, i feel as if you are haunting me. it' s that bad. really. and it's my life. i believe that there is more to life than just to MUG. too bad we see things differntly. i believe that passion is more impt than money. and i believe that i can manage my time well caz i wun let myself fail. i'm near my snapping point. but who cares. whatever. as much as i want to go. i'm scared. i duno what's my problem man. caz it's been so long. |